Dec. 10th, 2008

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I was just talking to Caraleigh, and we were discussing how we've both seen so many articles coming out today asking "What's wrong with Chicago? Don't they realized that in the past 35 years, 4 governors have been convicted of fraud? (including Blagojevich)."

My answer: Hell yeah, bitches, we realized. What you don't understand is that we don't think anything's wrong with it- at least, not how you're thinking. I can't speak for the rest of Illinois- but Blagojevich is a Chicago politician, so. Chicagoans are cynical about politics. We expect our politicians to be corrupt. We don't care if they are- actually, we think it's funny. The only question is: how *well* are you doing at being corrupt, and can you manage to get stuff done? Chicagoans respect balls. What a lot of people in the rest of the country don't get is, for example, that Chicagoans don't think badly of Daley- we really like him. If he runs for re-election, I'm gonna vote for him. Yes, he's corrupt. He's part of the old Illinois Ward System that's based on loyalty and what you can get for your friends. But he gets the snow removed, and what he's done for the city in the past 20 years is outstanding. Daley has balls. Miggs Field is a great example of that. Man- Governor Ryan, before Blagojevich? Was investigated for his Pay-to-Play scandle before he even ran for Governor, but he still won. Because Chicagoans respect balls.

Blagojevich also has balls. And so does, for example, Todd Stroger. Todd Stroger's all, "heeeey my dad got re-elected even though he had a debilitating stroke 3 days before the election (which could only happen in Chicago), and then died like 2 weeks after, so now I'm gonna use my connections to get myself appointed to his seat and then raise the taxes to the highest rate in the entire country. I got balls!" And Blagojevich, holy shit does he have balls. Just look at the list of people he was trying to shake down: The President-elect, the Chicago Cubs, the Chicago Tribune, Warren Buffett, Bill Gates, *Children's Memorial Hospital*, the fucking RED CROSS. Ok, he was doing all this while *under investigation* and still talking about running for President in 2016. DUDE HAS BALLS. Delusional, but ballsy.

What the difference is between Blagojevich and Daley is that Daley is competant and Blagojevich is not. That is why Chicagoans hate him. We couldn't care less about the corruption.  It's funny to us- because he thinks he's this huge big shot and he's delusional, it's hilarious. But honestly, if he tried to shake down all those people and was smart enough to get away with it? We'd re-elect him. In Chicago it's sink or swim- we'll respect you if you can pull it off, if you can't we'll laugh at you as you're going down. All you need to do to see how much fun we're having with this is read the Chicago Tribune headlines- they had one this afternoon that said "Patti Blagojevich- The New Lady MacBeth?' Hahahaa, oh man. Deal with it bitches!

Stephen Colbert lived here for like 6 years, guys. Where do you think he got his balls from?


P.S. A word about Barack Obama. This will seem a bit contradictory, but Barack Obama is not corrupt, which is, in fact, why Chicagoans like him- we have different standards for our national politicians than our local ones, and anyway- it take a *shitload* of balls to grow up in the Chicago political system and not be corrupt- look at Rahm Emanuel. It hardens you too, and if you can hack it you get our respect. Some people are all "but Rezko" but seriously, the Chicago political system is even more incestuous than the Chicago music scene and if the only corrupt person they've got him talking to is Tony Rezko, then in my humble opinion Barack Obama is squeeky  clean.

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